Family Portraits at La Jolla

The Art of Being a Good Mother

I like to think that I am a lot like most other moms. Our primary objective in life is to care for our kids when they are with us, and to worry like crazy when they are not. As a working mother, I seem to have a LOT of time to sit here at the computer and worry. A concern that hits me like a ton of bricks every so often is; how can I be a good parent if I am gone for 9 or 10 hours of the day? Sometimes it feels like my kids are being raised by daycare and after-school programs. The life of a stay-at-home mom seems so much different than that of a full time working mom. I feel that I am missing out on so many things. I don’t sit and do art projects with my little ones, think up fun cupcake recipes or even get to volunteer at my daughter’s school. I hardly have the time to participate in a PTA fundraiser much less join up.

When I come home at night, Katelynn cries for me to come pick her up as if to say “just where in the hell have you been all day?” I try and catch up on what Alyssa did at school that day while inhaling something for dinner. Pretty soon bath time, then bed time, and I find myself wondering, where did the day go?

I think that being a mother comes with a certain amount of built-in guilt, no matter what your situation. If you are at home with the kids, you feel guilty for wanting to break away and do adult things, or maybe there is a certain amount of guilt for not bringing in a paycheck. If you are a working mother, you of course feel guilty for not being around enough.

I suppose what it comes down to, is that we all do our best to support our families and raise happy children. If that means being at home with the kids or going off to work every day to keep food on the table, we just do what we can. Maybe being a good mom for me doesn’t have to mean macaroni art, baked goods and PTA meetings. Maybe it means giving my children as much of my time as possible and using the rest to fill their tummies and give them a warm bed. What else can we do?

*Here are a couple from the archives. Alyssa was 3 here, goodness time flies.

Halloween 2011

This year, on Halloween weekend we had a party for the kids with games and prizes. Alyssa picked out a cute bat costume and we forced Katelynn into a monkey costume which she eventually embraced. The adults had a party next door where I dressed up like a devil and Jason was a scary jester type thing, creepy. Everyone had fun and of course, had way too much sugar. We did the typical trick-or-treating thing on Halloween night in Auntie and Uncle's neighborhood. Katie tried out the door-to-door action for the first time and did pretty well. She followed up every piece of candy with a "Tay- Too" which means thank you in Katelyneese. Alyssa trick-or-treated with the fam for a bit and eventually broke away to run the neighborhood with some friends from down the street. She cleaned up pretty well with a bag full of candy. All I can say is, hide the reeses cups, cuz momma's hungry!

I Make This Look Gooood

Violet

This is my grandmother, Violet. Beautiful, isn't she? This is who my mom gets her beauty from. And also her gentle and giving personality. She passed just two days ago. She was 91 and had a long and fulfilling life. It's all the little things that I remember about her. I always knew when she was in the room because she smelled like roses. She was always on the go, always staying active and traveling. I remember we joked that she took a plane to Texas one day, just to have lunch with a friend. We used to love to play games together. Four generations of Yahtzee players! We used to give her a hard time when she would scratch her Yatzee just like great grandma did. I will miss her, and all the little things that make her her. I can't presume to know exactly what happens when you die; heaven, spirits? But I do know that wherever she is, they are lucky to have her.

Soccer Stud

Katelynn's 1st Birthday

Our baby girl turned 1 on September 13th! She had a lady bug party, because after all, she is the Katie bug. We had friends and family there to help us celebrate. There was a lady bug pinata that the kids got to pound on and she got lots of great gifts. Her favorite part was the chocolate cake! Can't say that I blame her. Happy birthday bug!

Our Story

It seems like just yesterday we were only kids, now we HAVE kids. What a trip. Jason and I met over 10 years ago and were friends for a while before we got together. We were young and bored so we decided one day to just pick up and leave sunny San Diego for the mountains of Flagstaff, AZ. I was going to go to college there (uh yah, didn’t happen). We seem to have a knack for doing things backwards.  Move away, have a kid, move back, get married, have another kid, work on careers. Chaos is this family’s middle name. But hey, it works for us. Don’t judge.

Anyhoo, Alyssa (kid #1) surprised us one October day by showing up as a plus sign on a pregnancy test. 9 months later, she was the 1^st baby to be born in Flagstaff on the 4^th of July, 2004. She’s very patriotic. She came out with an Uncle Sam hat and a couple of sparklers. She was very beautiful, a little gooey and she terrified us completely. I was a new, clueless mom of 25 who couldn’t fathom waking up before 11 am, much less every 2-3 freaking hours to feed a baby. Jason was still in party-all-night, bar-hopping mode , not diaper-changing, constant-spit-up-on-your-shirt mode. Regardless of our initial fear of change, we were excited to be parents. Luckily for us, she was a pretty good baby who was kind enough to sleep through the night at 3 months old (thank you, honey). Alyssa unknowingly brought us together and we became a family.

We stayed in Flagstaff for a while, and still fondly remember it as “home”. It was a welcome change from the busy San Diego lifestyle where you aren’t in a hurry to get anywhere, you actually wave to strangers and you finish off the day by bellying up to the bar for a pint of Fat Tire. We made some terrific friends and great memories. Man that was good times, I’ll save that for another day. But at the end of the day, it was just too hard to have a toddler with no family around for her to grow up with. So back to San Diego we went.

With a little help from our friends and family, we re-established ourselves as San Diegans and quickly shed our Northern “Zonie” ways. We paid way too much for an apartment that was way too small, spent hours in traffic and bitched about the 65 degree winters. I got a job working for a commercial real estate company and Jason worked as an EMT. Life was good.

Just 2 years ago, we had remembered that we forgot to get married in the middle of all this life stuff. So we got some friends and family together and were hitched on September 18^th, 2009. It was a great day. Alyssa was 5 years old, and I remember she had just lost her first front tooth the day before. She walked me down the aisle and daddy gave her a kiss before she “gave me away”. Jason’s brother, Aaron performed the ceremony and my sister, Korrin was my maid of honor. We looked great, felt great and had an awesome night.

We decided to try right away for another kido. It took a few tries, but just 5 days before our 1^st anniversary, Katelynn was born. September 13^th, 2010 was the day that our family became complete. No seriously, due to a certain out-patient procedure, it is literally impossible to add on. She came out with blazing blue eyes, and still looks nothing like me. I still think I need a maternity test. But I’m not bitter at all. She is a gorgeous, fussy, fearless child and she is as goofy as they come, much like her big sis. She’s not the awesome sleeper that her sister is, but we are working on it. She just started walking about a month ago and hasn't quite mastered it, so she has so many bumps and bruises on her pretty face, that I’m starting to fear CPS will be knocking down my door.  

Katelynn turned 1 earlier this month. She speeks Katelynneese "jib jab blub bu bu dada ma" which I think means "hey you know, I'm not so happy with the food in this establishment". She also likes to bang toys on the glass door and play with her new drum set in order to drive mommy and daddy crazy. Alyssa is 7 and just started the 2^nd grade. She reads well and she loves to do her projects (glue pictures to pieces of paper and color around them to give to people). She’s a kind hearted goofball and she ALMOST made her first goal in soccer last weekend. Jason is working for a local gas & electric company and is addicted to going to the gym. He tries to break away to the golf course every now and then, but I always have a reason to make him spend his spare time with me. He's an awesome father and surprises me every day.  I'm still working for that Commercial Real Estate company and attempting to shed the baby weight for the umpteenth time. This time is the one, i can feel it.

That brings us to today. Sheesh, time sure does fly.  I can’t wait to see what the future holds for this family. Come back and find out.